How Yoga Saved My Life

A poem about hOHM
February 16, 2019
The Birth Story of Tara
March 26, 2019
Show all

How Yoga Saved My Life

Handstands Ballet Barre

From being No Where, to BEING Now, Here!

Yoga has been an influence on every single aspect of my life.

From how I react in my relationships with others, the way I treat myself, the incredible water births of my 2 babies, and how my future will be the most incredible experience ever… it is already written in the stars.

It is in THE most Gratitude that I write this right now.

A little bit into my past. Growing up, I fell under the category of the ‘funny fat girl’. I never felt worthy of love because of my weight and could never fully feel happy because I always had this fear of someone hurting my feelings with words or looks (kids can be so cruel.. but I forgive you all, it made me me!)

Then everything happened when I was around 14 years old- Finally after years of diets, pills, dieticians, went to a private high school where the girls were obsessed with what they ate. It is all we really spoke about! My mom put me on a massive diet, taking injections in my bum once a week, eating a very unbalanced diet, and lost around 17 kg. And for the first time in my life, I was being noticed. I finally got the attention I had been craving for so long! I felt that I could show the world that I am actually beautiful. That I actually do have a lot to show and share that has been hidden behind my jester mask. I am still slowly letting my true loves shine through, and deciphering between what is real and what was a mask. and it is liberating as you reach a new milestone.

Embrace all of your past, it makes you YOU.

As teenagers do, I started drinking, smoking, partying like a Rockstar with the mentality that the louder, more drunk I get, the more boys will like me. This obviously didn’t serve me too well! But it was all I knew. With each boyfriend, I got comfortable and picked up weight, and as we broke up I would starve and get skinny with some ridiculous diet. Only for the cycle to be repeated.

A turning point in my life was at 22, hitting the 89kg mark and thinking “I just CANNOT let myself get to 90kg!” So, I went on a mission. I found a flyer for Lisa Raleigh’s Shape Up Challenge and went to say hi to them. I almost didn’t sign up, but as the universe would have it, the receptionist asked me for my number, proceeded to call a few days before with an awesome discount price that also suite my schedule. I SAID YES!

weightloss fat unhealthy
lose weight weight loss skinny fat

Deciding to change for good.

I walked into that place and said “I AM going to win this!” (Hello Manifestation Station!) And so, I did. It changed my life. For the first time, I had been introduced to a real way of eating, that is truly sustainable long term, without depriving you of any food group, and good, clean eating. And decided to use the prize money towards continuing my quest for bettering me. (I am working on a blog post & some resources on making peace with your plate in the future... once I have finished writing my yoga TTC manual!!!)

I became obsessed with exercise and gym, eating healthy and keeping up my hot body. What i didnt realise until later, was how my transforamtion then was already inspiring some of my friends to be better themselves.

 

Then, coming home from gym one day, there was a man standing in my house, with a screwdriver in his hand. My world stopped. I can honestly say I have never been more present than I was that day.

Being the getaway driver of my own robbery was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. I became an absolute nervous wreck. The counsellor’s words to “help” me were ‘’Well, it could have been worse, you could have been raped’’… REALLY!!!??? Because that didn’t take the trauma away!

This is the link to the newspaper article. Not all points in the stories are totally true.. like my "french" passport.. it was my FRIENDS passport! 🙂

https://www.facebook.com/simmi.holmes/posts/112981462194243

The power of Manifestation

When I think about the power of manifestation, I realise that it has played a role in my life since always. What ever you think, so you shall become.

So, when we made a list of goals at 17, I, now a ripe 82kg, very jokingly wrote on the top of my list that I was going to study yoga in Thailand. It was a really funny joke at the time I thought.. But look at me now!

Sitting with my beautiful housemate friend, over more wine & another joint, we were chatting when my Thailand Yoga joke came up… and she said “What is stopping you?” And in that moment, I had decided it was what I needed to do. I needed to escape my current reality. (last time it was to the Caribbean to work on yachts) A friend had told me about Pyramid Yoga in Koh Phagan Thailand, which was the first thing that popped up in my search, and so it was meant to be.

yoga jump be free

Fast forward to today. A stunning Yoga Sanctuary,  2 kids, not even toddlers anymore, a German husband & a lot going on! (no order preference.. that is the time line in which it happened)

I try my best. (As we all do) As a yogi, you are expected to look, act, dress and be a certain way, that is still a challenge for me, as the need to be skinny still haunts me. We think we should be able to do all these hectic moves, sit in meditation for hours or whatever the case may be.

Sometimes I get people who choose to judge me, A friend once saying “You are supposed to be all yogi but now you are doing this or that.” My response: I am not Jesus. I do my best daily, and my intentions are in the right place. I am nowhere near perfect, and I don’t want to pretend to be someone I am not. I am who I am. I am a work in progress. But I am evolving. I am choosing to stop blaming others, take responsibility for where I am and what I have done and I know that my life is a little bit of a mirror, with a bit of karma thrown in for good measure. It is in theses moments that you stop giving your power away and start owning your sh*t!

baby mom yoga hohm yoga meet sim yoga retreat yoga classes yoga south coast

So sometimes I am completely sober for a few months, other times, I’ll drink a little, and when I have too many drinks, sometimes I’ll have a few puffs..  THen the holiday is over and we can continue healing, cleansing , growing.  ( I will admit, I am a REALLY cheap date now!

But what I do to counteract that is eat more healthily, do more breathing the next day, help my body to heal from my moments of weakness. And THAT’S what counts. How quickly can you find that balance again? it is not for anyone to judge when you fall off the wagon. We are all humans in a Non-ideal world. Enjoy your life. Enjoy the good and the not so good. And then wake up, get dressed, and do YOGA! ..You will feel amazing!

So, I am going to try my best to be Authentic on this blog. To be t he most real real me I can be. No buffering, no bullshit because I am afraid I an going to hurt someone’s feelings, be judged, or sugar coat. You don’t always have to pretend to be Okay. And that is Okay.

So, let’s take a deep breath together, filling our bodies with love, and exhale gratitude to share with the world around you.

I am learning the extent of my worthiness. The extent of each of our limitless potential. The more I realise my worth, the less I find myself trying to beat myself up in some way. The journey is a beautiful one.

Yoga has saved my life by helping me see the true me. By giving me Purpose.

I know that my story can help others through trauma, through addiction, through getting through the torments within each of us. To experience states of heightened awareness. Of Beauty, Of Bliss.

Namaste,

Sim

 

PS. Please write a comment on you experience, thoughts any ANYTHING you wish to share!

Let Yoga Save Your Life Too..

Check out our Classes, Retreats & the Ultimate Chakra Yoga Teachers Training

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *